Governor Spitzer

12 03 2008

Dear (former)Governor Spitzer,
Shame on you. Soliticiting sex for money is illegal, and you should know better. If you were going to partake in such socially unacceptable actions, then you should have made it legal in New York. You probably would have had the support of several of your fellow politicians, plus the Mets (well, the Yankees don’t have to pay for sex, now do they?), and a handful of constituents as well. Alas, you did not, and now you can be charged for solicitation. True that usually “Johns” as they are called, a group we’ve now placed you in, aren’t usually charged, usually it is the woman (it was a woman, correct? We never know these days) who gets slammed. Unfortunately, or fortunately, we can’t quite be sure which yet, you are a political figure who is subject to more than just being thrown out of the house by his wife. Yes, were you a regular Joe-excuse me, a regular John, then the harshest reprimanding you would receive would be from your family. No, no, you are Governor Eliot Spitzer. So, every minute detail of your life that wasn’t already being scrutinized is now going to be the forefront of many, many newspapers, blogs, online magazines, newscasts, radio shows, and all other forms of media. I assure you that I myself received several text messages about your scandalous activities. Bravo, sir! You have infiltrated all the forms of media. We are all saddened to see you go, sir, for you were a terrific Governor, and you have served the state of New York well. Did you think you could recover from this? Perhaps you thought, well, Bill didn’t have to resign. And look, his wife still loves him, the Democratic Party still loves him, and now his wife is running for President. So, surely New York will forgive me. Eli, baby, yes, New York loves you! New York will forgive you. But the media won’t. So I guess we say our goodbyes now. In closing, I must tell you. I knew Bill Clinton. And you sir, are no Bill Clinton.
Sincerely,
Chase

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Life in the Big City

17 02 2008

And when I say the Big City, I mean The Big Apple. New York City. I know a few people who live there, and I myself travel to NYC on occasion, both for work and pleasure. Last time I traveled to NYC, I had a business meeting on Friday, and my best friend (who got engaged on Thursday, congrats!) came along for the ride. She and I decided that since I had to go for work, we’d stay the weekend, see some shows, do some shopping, the whole shebang. Little did we know that this was the weekend that the stagehands were going on strike. Oh well, we had a good time anyway. In our travels through the city, we walked past the Plaza, and thought we would stop in for a drink. We were both unaware that the well-known New York hotel was closed, and had been since 2005. Well, when we came back to DC, it quickly left my mind, until I came across an article in the NYT style section. The article, which you can find here, is about the changes being made at The Plaza. Since 2005, The Plaza Hotel has been being renovated. They’ve added residences, upscale condos and apartments that are now available for purchase. Not only do these luxurious apartments have all the hotel amenities available to them, but they also have a private lobby, and a flat panel screened direct line to the concierge and security services. Now, hold off on your plan to run off and purchase one of these beautifully-decorated apartments with the spectacular views. Most of the people who have bought these apartments are high-powered executive jet setters such as the top executives from Viacom, Esprit, Jet Blue, and Staples, past and present. That’s right, a one-bedroom apartment at The Plaza Hotel costs a whopping $5.4 million dollars (and that’s only on the 15th floor, not even the penthouse floor, number 19). According to the Times article, only a handful of people use this residence as their full time home. The others split their time between here and at their second (third, fourth, fifth, tenth?) homes. This once-lively 181-unti building can become a ghost town when only six apartments are being lived in. You know what they need? A healthy dose of celebrity. One or two celebs, a good sex scandal, and a few drunken parties hosted by an underage celeb, and the place is going to be crawling with paparazzi. Until then…Eloise is going to be one lonely little girl.